


Scars of Survival

by FangirlReader28



Category: Jurassic Park - All Media Types, Jurassic Park Original Trilogy (Movies), Jurassic Park Series - Michael Crichton
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Ian angst is the best angst, Museums, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Post-The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Realization, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 05:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18543544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlReader28/pseuds/FangirlReader28
Summary: Hoping to make up for the times he'd been unreliable, Ian Malcolm agrees to accompany his girlfriend, Sarah Harding, to the museum to support a presentation she is giving. Being so close to any sign of dinosaurs so soon after Sorna, though, is something he's not sure he's ready for. However, the trip helps him realize all he's been through and remember why he went in the first place.(I swear it's better than it sounds, I just suck at writing summaries XD)





	Scars of Survival

It had been a few months. He has had months since the events of Isla Sorna and San Diego, and years still since Isla Nublar. As Ian Malcolm entered the museum with Sarah Harding holding his hand, he felt foolish and childish for his trepidations. Kids raced up the steps around them to enter the grand building for even a glimpse of the artifacts and tall statue-like bones inside. Even though they were excited, he wasn’t in the slightest. He would have preferred not to go at all. However, Sarah had an event she was hosting so he caved to her pleading. He had tried to be more there for her because he knew it would make her happy. Besides, his daughter, Kelly, would be there as well and she had grown to be very fond of Sarah.

The doors slammed shut behind the couple as they stepped into the heated lobby. Outside, the wind moaned which had caused the rain to feel like icy bullets, slicing through the brisk air. Simply emerging into the halls as they made their way to pay, he felt his heart start to become audible in his ears. Ian swallowed his fearful thoughts up. After all, here were only bones. Bones were dead. Bones didn’t move or chase. These fossils were a part of living creatures from well over thousands of years ago and they couldn’t do anything.

As they waited in line, Sarah spun the promise ring Ian had given her around her finger, reciting her lines in her head. They had decided they were ready to be together forever just not now when everything is chaotic, and Sarah is always leaving. However, Sarah’s research trips were getting fewer and farther between since Isla Sorna. Ian noticed she was nervous about her presentation and grasped her hand again. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” She shrugged as though she was being honest. “Why wouldn’t I be? I have handled myself around animal killers, how could a presentation be worse than any of that?” Malcolm knew how she felt because sometimes, like after Jurassic Park, the days afterwards felt worse. Not only was there fear, but after Nublar Ian was completely discredited and most people believed he was insane in the best case scenario. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for him to be mocked on the streets. These days, after the events in San Diego, everyone realized he was telling the truth. At least to some degree. Lately, they just harassed him for information.

“Dad, you made it!” Kelly bellowed from across the lobby. Whilst Sarah received their tickets and her lanyard, Ian’s daughter pattered up to him. 

“Hey there, honey.” Ian chortled, giving his little girl a prolonged hug. 

“Hi Kelly.” Sarah smiled after giving the two their moment. The three of them began to make their way down the halls. Kelly and Sarah started some friendly conversation while Ian pulled out a map from his jacket pocket. He loved how well Kelly and Sarah got along, which is good since Sarah will be Kelly’s stepmother one day. He clenched his jaw at the paper covered in inked halls. He was usually good with reading maps but his attention was diverted today.

“Which, uh, which way are we supposed to go now?” Ian grumbled, passing the map onto Sarah’s hands. He clenched his fists in frustration. He was usually slow to anger but when he was, it would usually be undetectable anyway. He had a short fuse since ‘93, however. He was especially tense today. 

“Relax, Ian,” Sarah sighed turning through the pages of the foldable map. “Let’s find where my presentation will be.” 

\------------

Sarah is seated in front of a large tyrannosaurus. The bones cast eerie shadows behind her but all around are little kids. They sit in a half circle around her. All wide-eyed and excited. She is discussing to the children about her run-ins with predators in paleontology dig sites. The ginger is resistant to mention any of the frightening Sorna stories but she knows the children will ask.

From the back of the room, Ian observes, casually leaning on the wall. Kelly sits with a slight smugness whenever Sarah tells a story that she has already heard. Ian’s soon-to-be-fiancée has a familiar gleam in her eye that she gets whenever she is excited about something. That gleeful look on her face is usually followed by chatter like right now.

From the crowd of adults surrounding the group, Ian notices someone scanning around the room and shoves his hands in his pockets. The man’s roaming eyes slide past Ian before swinging back. He groans internally as recognition fills the strange man’s face. Everyone’s looking for a story: the people on the streets, newscasters on the yard. Last time he had called Alan and Ellie, they had said they faced the same problem. They, however, never came forward about the events of Isla Nublar. They never had lost their creditability or been called crazy or a liar. Nowadays, however, the harassment was less mocking and more interrogative.

The man approaches the mathematician who focuses back on Sarah, hoping he would leave him alone. He doesn’t. The stranger stands beside Malcolm as though they are old friends. “Hey, weren’t you on TV?” He undertones but is ignored. “Dinosaurs? Am I right?” The man’s following chuckle goes unacknowledged, aggravating him but he presses. “My son over there,” The man points to a boy somewhere in the crowd. “He really loves dinosaurs.”

“That’s fascinating.” Ian mumbles.

“Yeah, so, I was wondering if you could answer a few questions.” Ian sighs heavily and lays his head back on the wall he is leaning against.

“Sorry, I can’t help you.”

“Aw, come one.” The man slides to stand partway obscuring Ian’s vision so he can’t Sarah anymore. “You were there, weren’t you? You had the chance to see them.”

“Excuse me, I’m, uh, I’m trying to pay attention to this.” Ian nods to the presentation before shoving past the annoying stranger. He paces to one of the adjoining hallways and falls onto a collapsible chair at the mouth of it. He is out of view from the guests, but Sarah is still visible, tucked behind the massive skeleton of a tyrannosaur.

It’s noisy outside. The rain hammers on a window nearby and despite his annoyance, Ian feels a prickle of fear that sets him on edge. The rain echoes off the window in a sickeningly recognizable way. Suddenly, there is a deafening roar of thunder that shakes throughout the building. The museum falls into blackness. Ian spins around and the cries of the children fade so all he can hear is the knocking of rain. His hands begin to shake and he bites his lip.

Light of his surroundings flashes back. His heart hammers inside of his chest as he feels his breaths grow shorter. Glancing around, Malcolm realizes this isn’t the museum. His frantic eyes dart around. A sheet of glass sits before his face; windows are also above and to his left and right. The ford explorer. That stupid ford explorer. Panting, Malcolm feels a clammy sweat break out and he can’t stop taking in his surroundings. The car, the road, the rex. Beside him sits Alan just like he was when Ian was there in 1993.

Ian leans forward in the car’s seat to peer through the windshield. The t-rex comes into view when lightning flashes. Pins and needles scald Ian’s skin as he watches. She stands behind the wires of the fence, playfully grazing against the sign that warns of nonexistent voltage. She is terrifying.

Malcolm’s heart thunders in his chest. This is the worst possible place on earth he could be and yet he’s here. He doesn’t want to be here. Anywhere else on the planet would be preferable. Ian squeezes his eyes shut. He shakes his head like a dog shakes off water, trying to be rid of the memory. He doesn’t want to be here, oh, how badly he doesn’t want to be here. He thinks he’s going to be sick.

When Ian opens his eyes, they fly around. His heart races at a million miles an hour complimented by panicked and animalistic panting that caused his chest to heave with the effort. He can see the pillars, dark halls, and people. The people! The minimal respect he has left for himself begs that no one be watching! Ian’s limbs burn with a flood of adrenaline. He just wants to get out of here. He doesn’t care where he goes but he doesn’t wasn’t to be here either. His mind runs wild. He feels he’s going to die if he stays here.

Ian leaps up, pivots, and takes off down the hallway behind him. His footsteps thud on the carpet as windows of exhibits blur by. His breaths continue to shoot down his throat and he feels his ears redden and burn as he dashes by bystanders. Panic and dread seep into every vein. Last second, he ducks into the bathroom. It’s a single person and he locks the heavy wooden door behind him.

As soon as Ian is alone, he collapses. His lays his back against the door and covers his closed eyes with a hand, his breaths speed down his lungs. He was there. He was back. The Rex was so close. She was going after him again. Malcolm opens his mouth wide to take larger, shaking gulps of air, trying to calm his racing heart. His stomach curls in anxiety that spirals heat up to his face but there is no danger here. He tells himself that he’s safe and more importantly, Sarah and Kelly are safe. He repeats it over and over again. It's all he can think to do.

After a few minutes pass, he manages to reign in his shudders. Despite his calmed breathing, the same can’t be said for his mind. Ian slides downward. His back scrapes the door through his leather jacket as the heels of his black shoes slip farther away. He hits the ground, feeling empty. The panic attack drained him emotional and physically. He sits and stares at the floor vacantly. He allows himself to zone out in a manner similar to falling asleep while you’re still conscious.

Time passes, who knows how long, before Sarah crosses Malcolm’s mind. He takes a deep breath before letting his eyes rove across the bathroom. After one of these episodes, he has always had a hard time grounding himself and returning as though nothing has happened.

Hesitantly, he opens the door and emerges back into the halls. This hallway is dark and secluded with no one else near. Ian clamps his bottom lip between his teeth. In his panic, Ian hadn’t noticed where he was going and feels hopelessly lost.

Shoving his still quivering hands into his pockets, he begins to pace aimlessly though the halls. Sarah was with the main attraction of the museum so finding her wouldn’t be too hard. Ian wasn’t sure he wanted to back there though. A growl of thunders rattles though the air once more. His gaze flies to the ceiling. God must be angry tonight.

Malcolm turns his attention to the display windows nearby. Behind glass, minuscule spotlights are shone onto aged pottery. He twisted his quivering hands into fists.

In the back of Ian’s mind he knew things would get better. He knew the nightmares would thin, the panic attacks would lessen, and the memories of both islands would become nothing more than fragments of his past. Despite the hatred he held for those times, a part of Ian now chose to bear the incidents like scars. Similar to the ragged ones on his left leg. They were proof that he had survived. He had fought death on multiple occasions and came out with air in his lungs. He was certainly left bruised but he wasn’t broken.

Ian Malcolm was a survivor. He always has been. The only thing he worried about now was being there for the ones he loves because he didn’t know who he was if he couldn’t protect them. Malcolm turned from the display and continued striding down the dreary hall.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote a one shot centering around Ian Malcolm because I love that child. To be honest, I had no clue where I was going with this for the longest time and it just went from like three sentences to a one-shot without my permission XD. I really hope I wrote the intrusive memory and panic attack right but whether I did or not.  
> (I do not own characters or events mentioned in this one-shot.)


End file.
